Tag Archives: humour

Experts are baffled.

It has taken me a while, I admit.  In fact I’ve already only just got round to it.  I can’t think why I didn’t do it sooner.  Well, I can really.  Tiredness, that’s it.  Knackerdy knackerdy, yaaawn zzzzzzzzzz whaff?  Hmmm? … Continue reading

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Lost Victorian novels 6.

Murgatroyd Trabant, nail polisher to the cognoscenti. James Witterinton QC sat in the manicurist’s chair a little uneasily.  There was just something about the place that he couldn’t quite put his elegantly groomed fingernail upon.  He looked around.  The floor … Continue reading

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Lost Victorian novels 5

The coal skipper. The sleet slanted sideways upon the upturned visage, begrimed as was its wont, of the hapless coal skip, peering up from the pile of coal in the cellar and skipping for all he was worth, which was, … Continue reading

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Lost Victorian novels 4

A Virgin No More. The totality of this unseemly farrago has been expunged by the Board Apropos Dainty Deeds (Domestic Division) Documentary Disassembly; Delicate Substitution.  The unsuitable, largely biographical, novelette that was committed in ink upon these pages prior to … Continue reading

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Lay-by clowns.

When commuting fifty miles on a regular basis, it is a matter of months before one stops noticing the weather, the traffic flow and the road works and starts noticing more esoteric matters. I first noticed the lay-by clowns quite … Continue reading

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You need hands.

Whoever would have thought that Max Bygraves would turn out to be some sort of guru? You need (he sang) hands………and then went on to give a very limited list of what they were handy for: holding someone, expressing sincerity, … Continue reading

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The mother of all weekends.

What a weekend! What a weekend! It wasn’t the ‘What a weekend’ weekend I wanted it to be.  That would have been that joy and delight, a Miniatura weekend, which is what I didn’t have.  Instead I had one of … Continue reading

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Mostly ‘armless.

I am. The frustration is terrific.  As is the pain.  It says on the notes the hospital gave me to do stuff but not too much.  So how much is too much?  Yesterday I embarked on a bit of marathon … Continue reading

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Wired for sound.

Mainly ‘ouch’. The ends of the bones in my wrist are not meeting, despite being re-plastered at an agonising angle, so I’m off into surgery today to have them wired together. This is most instructive.  At last, considering the very … Continue reading

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Having a little break.

Specifically radius and ulna.  Right across both. It happened with remarkable ease.  One of the cats had been sick, in the corner on my weighted work-out gloves.  So I did my work out after I’d cleaned it up, washed the … Continue reading

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