{"id":121,"date":"2010-02-11T23:25:02","date_gmt":"2010-02-11T23:25:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.janelaverick.com\/?p=121"},"modified":"2010-02-12T17:21:10","modified_gmt":"2010-02-12T17:21:10","slug":"elected-ho-ho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.janelaverick.com\/?p=121","title":{"rendered":"Elected! Ho Ho!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><font size=\"5\" face=\"Imprint MT Shadow\">&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; Parliamentary elected members.&#160; <br \/>&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; <\/font><\/strong><font size=\"4\" face=\"Imprint MT Shadow\"><strong>Expenses claim form.        <br \/><\/strong>Please place a cross (X) against all applicable answers.<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">1) Would you like some money?      <br \/>Yes\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>Yes please\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">2) Who is it for?      <br \/>Me\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>The wife\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>Mistress 1\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>Mistress 2\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026&#8230;       <br \/>Someone else\u2019s mistress I quite fancy\u2026\u2026       <br \/>This cute little lap dancer\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>Relative (please specify)\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">3) What is it for?      <br \/>Building a temple for ducks in my pond\u2026\u2026       <br \/>Building a dam for beavers in my lake\u2026&#8230;..       <br \/>Building a funfair for sparrows in my garden..       <br \/>New downstairs toilet for the wife who found out about the mistress.       <br \/>New kitchen for the first mistress who found out about the second mistress\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>New carpet for the Roller\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>Gold leaf office wallpaper\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">4) Is this in settlement of a bill already rendered by:&#160;&#160; <br \/>Caterers\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>Wine merchant\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>Travel agent\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026&#8230;       <br \/>French polisher\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>Jeweller\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>Florist\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>Furrier\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>Nanny\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>Dog walker\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">5) How much are you claiming?      <br \/>Three shillings and sixpence\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>\u00a35,000\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>\u00a327,650\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>\u00a350,000\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>\u00a3100,000\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>Whatever I can get away with\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">6) Do you have receipts to support your claim?      <br \/>Yes\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>Yes\u2026ish, sort of\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>Not yet, please wait while I make some\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">7) Detail the frequency of your claims.      <br \/>I\u2019m gutted, I\u2019d been here a year before I found out, I thought you just got paid a huge salary for turning up and that was for everything, then someone told me about the gravy train and now I want to know how you can claim retrospectively, because I want my share\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>I have claimed once before\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.       <br \/>I claim every six months\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>Every month\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026       <br \/>I try to find a little something every day because it all adds up and if I don\u2019t claim regularly you\u2019ll think I don\u2019t want it and reassign the money to the poor or the unemployed or some bankrupt country or some other hangers on or no hopers\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">8)&#160; Does this claim include wear and tear on work clothing?      <br \/>Yes\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..       <br \/>No\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026&#8230;       <br \/>Oh no, brilliant, thanks for suggesting that\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">9) Does your claim include heating and lighting for your secondary residence near to parliament?      <br \/>Three absolutely cracking suggestions there, thank you\u2026\u2026       <br \/>Yes and two holiday homes (for resting from the strain)\u2026..<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">10) Does your claim include disbursements to administrative officers, cleaners, cooks, meal delivery services, or gardeners?      <br \/>Oh I didn\u2019t know you were allowed to claim for take aways. Oh, I say, can you claim for party invitations, too?<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">11) Only if they come under the heading of office stationery.      <br \/>Fantastic!&#160; In that case PARTY!&#160; PARTY!&#160; PARTY !<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">*******************************************************<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font size=\"4\" face=\"Times New Roman\">JaneLaverick.com bringing you the low down on exactly why it\u2019s called party politics.<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; Parliamentary elected members.&#160; &#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160; Expenses claim form. Please place a cross (X) against all applicable answers. 1) Would you like some money? Yes\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Yes please\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. 2) Who is it for? Me\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. The wife\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Mistress 1\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 Mistress 2\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026&#8230; Someone else\u2019s &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.janelaverick.com\/?p=121\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 5.0.2 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Parliamentary elected members. Expenses claim form. Please place a cross (X) against all applicable answers. 1) Would you like some money? Yes\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Yes please\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. 2) Who is it for? Me\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. The wife\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Mistress 1\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 Mistress 2\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026... Someone else\u2019s mistress I quite fancy\u2026\u2026 This cute little lap dancer\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 Relative (please specify)\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. 3) What is\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\"\/>\n\t<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.janelaverick.com\/?p=121\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"generator\" content=\"All in One SEO (AIOSEO) 5.0.2\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"JaneLaverick.com | Jane Laverick&#039;s online porcelain doll shop and art gallery.\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Elected! Ho Ho! | JaneLaverick.com\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Parliamentary elected members. Expenses claim form. Please place a cross (X) against all applicable answers. 1) Would you like some money? Yes\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Yes please\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. 2) Who is it for? Me\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. The wife\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Mistress 1\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 Mistress 2\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026... Someone else\u2019s mistress I quite fancy\u2026\u2026 This cute little lap dancer\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 Relative (please specify)\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. 3) What is\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.janelaverick.com\/?p=121\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-02-11T23:25:02+00:00\" \/>\n\t\t<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2010-02-12T17:21:10+00:00\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Elected! Ho Ho! | JaneLaverick.com\" \/>\n\t\t<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Parliamentary elected members. Expenses claim form. Please place a cross (X) against all applicable answers. 1) Would you like some money? Yes\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Yes please\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. 2) Who is it for? Me\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.. The wife\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. Mistress 1\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 Mistress 2\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026... Someone else\u2019s mistress I quite fancy\u2026\u2026 This cute little lap dancer\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 Relative (please specify)\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. 3) What is\" \/>\n\t\t<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"aioseo-schema\">\n\t\t\t{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.janelaverick.com\\\/?p=121#article\",\"name\":\"Elected! Ho Ho! | JaneLaverick.com\",\"headline\":\"Elected! 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