I wish I knew. I’ve had a lot of worry in my life, my health, the way other people have treated me, how to make ends wave at each other and quite a lot of worry about the health of other people.
The health of other people is one of those worries where you are really powerless to make any kind of change. As regular readers (hello, how are you?) know I’ve had plenty of worry about demented people in my life and how best to help them. The worry of it is one of the reasons I start nearly every day with a workout of at least an hour, having noticed that the one habit the demented people I’ve known had in common, was getting up in the morning and then sitting down. It is my personal belief that the best thing you can do for your brain is to get the blood whooshing through it as soon as possible every day.
The person I’m worried about currently is the OH. Our beliefs differ; he believes a person can drink alcohol every day for sixty years and only feel benefit from doing so. I disagree. The OH, already under investigation for persistent pain, has had an extreme reaction to a Covid booster injection, and is telling me at every opportunity how poorly he is, which differs very noticeably from someone in withdrawal, screaming at you that there is nothing the matter with them apart from the idiot standing in front of them.
It’s a worry.
One of the benefits of being a miniaturist is that you always know someone with greater worries. The people I have met and interviewed over the last forty years sometimes realised that they were making a miniature world because the real one was such a worry, and sometimes had no idea why they were drawn to a world you can totally control.
We all know the disastrous outcomes of anyone in power trying to control the real world, if you tip one end up, somewhere another end will go down, and, as it’s all going round and round at the same time, predicting where the fall will be, is tricky to say the least.
In the personal sphere, you find out very soon in life that you cannot control the people round you. If you were me you learned to worry very young; an unpredictable and dangerous mother is a never ending source of worry.
If you have two incredibly balanced and happy parents (anyone?) (no, really anyone?) you are more likely to be less of a worrier because life has given you less to be worried about and your reaction to adverse events may be coloured by your experience. If enough events in your life up to now have turned out favourably you are very likely to expect that future events will eventuate similarly. Why would you expect anything else? Moreover your cheerful expectations may influence your own behaviour and the outcome.
But my guess is that, if you are reading this, you are a practised worrier, more seasoned than a hot frying pan at what is coming next. You already believe there is not much you can do to change other people and that events will happen and you’ll just have to come along at the end and mop up.
The real question is what do you do between the start of the worry and the end. Just worrying is bad for you. Eating your worries away is fattening and bad for your health. You can go out running in the rain (I only know this because I’ve seen people doing it – they did look awfully wet and not, noticeably, happy). You can develop all sorts of interesting behaviours that will occupy your time, money and attention and bring a load of worries of their own with them, you can drink, gamble or work your worries away, all of which are temporary relief followed by worse worry.
What you need to do is something that will occupy your mind completely for as long as you need it to do so.
This, as the regular reader (still here? How many good parents did you have?*) already knows, is a hobby. As the RR also knows, I have three main hobbies. Miniaturising is more of a job now but I still do occasionally do a diorama or a room box and, (being fully qualified) have a couple of house kits on a shelf and in the garage, which I will eventually do when I’m less worried. And I garden. This is definitely a hobby, though, had I had more self-knowledge when younger, I’d have done it as a job.
I have done nearly all the handicraft things you can possibly do. I’ve been making my own greetings cards for over thirty years, which is what I am currently doing in the present worry. Card making has much to recommend it as a hobby. If it goes wrong it’s just a bit of cardboard, you put it in the recycling. If it goes right you send it to someone and they are grateful.
I also do a lot of shopping for hobbies. Sometimes I think the shopping is the hobby. This is hardly an earth shattering realisation, Muriel Hopwood, the founder of Miniatura, came to this conclusion over forty years ago. There is something very soothing about having the stuff to get on with, next time the worry strikes. Viewed correctly the stuff you have in piles everywhere is not the problem you think it is: if you acquired it anticipating a worry and didn’t get round to it, that could well be because the thing you were worried about never happened.
Worry is a way of thinking. If you can change the way you think, you can change the world inside your head. As we all live in our heads, a change is as good as a rest. Meanwhile, send a card, get out in the outside, do a bit of online browsing shopping, make a mental list of the stuff you would have if you had the money and what you would do with it if it arrived.
These are the things I do when I worry. There’s another one, if I could remember what it is.
Um.. oh yes, writing.
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*If the answer is ‘none’, you are very highly qualified. We are all here to learn, you have picked the advanced course.
Three of the cards in the photo are using a die cutting machine and materials from www.carnationcrafts.co.uk You can buy everything you need and get free downloaded artwork and there are online demonstrations.
The card with the mouse reading a book is from a junk journal. Various companies make them, they are books to cut up to make cards and other papercraft items from, they have press-out shapes, stickers and so on. If you wanted to just have a go all you would need is scissors and glue. Stamperia make the hottest ones currently, put Stamperia Junk Journal into a search engine to find them.
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