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Tag Archives: humour
The all England women’s flab championships, the final.
You join me here on Centre Court for the final, on such a windy day. Jim, do you remember ever having such a windy day? Other than sixty-three, two-oh-eight and seventeen, no. It is unprecedently windy, yes. No, there was … Continue reading
The perlitikal situashun.
This column never has been and never will be anything to do with politics. It’s about artists like you and me and what we do when life in general and relatives in particular, go a bit manky. However, the current … Continue reading
Bedding.
Absolutely not in the Shakespearian sense, though at the time bundling was very popular. The courting couple, dressed in every garment they had, were put in bed together, sometimes with a plank of wood between them and then further bundled … Continue reading
Nurses.
Eight days in hospital is a long time to watch. There’s not a lot else you can do if you’re not up to reading but hooked up to bottles and drip stands. I had pipes up my nose and everywhere … Continue reading
Inarticulacy.
Inarticulacy, or as I like to think of it, inarticularcy, is its own thingummy jig. If you arse around with the words, which slip, fugitive from your whatsit, (holding with the hands and fingers, begins with rasp) the results are … Continue reading
Competency.
Have you ever woken up, knowing what was wrong? Or right? I don’t mean in the normal excessively late middle age things of having a sense of which bits have dropped off in the night, assuming, that is, that you’ve … Continue reading
Learning and that
This is the second time I have written the introduction to this post, because I have lost it somewhere in the computer, which rather proves my point. I can see a draft of it, written in strange symbols but have … Continue reading
Dangerous days out for the elderly.
On Friday it was my birthday. I was old. Nevertheless it was decided that we would venture from the building, go somewhere else and return in celebration. A little bottle of something fizzy was put in the fridge in case … Continue reading
2 day
Today is two,It is Two dayTwo day two youIn any wayRead two or froA palindromeTwo two 0 goingAnd coming home. Two is the numberOn Toosday two,A day for meA day for youTwo do what weWould like two doChoose carefullyIt’s up … Continue reading
Careers Advice.
The new Head, opening his study,Said, ‘Welcome to you, Mr Toddy,Mrs Toddy put your bodyIn this chair. There is no need to appraise me,You really can’t surprise me,I already recognise whyYou both are here. I assume that Toddy JuniorIs why … Continue reading