What lies ahead? A perennial question caused entirely by our linear lifestyle, though, to be fair, in the main it’s a kindness; if we lived backwards and knew some of the ghastly things that were due to happen in our lives before they occurred, no one would get up in the morning. Would you keep going through a dreadful patch if you had any idea of how long it would last? The hope that tomorrow will be better than today is the instigator of all of man’s greatest ideas and inventions. However, for those of us who just need to know or want an extra dollop of enthusiasm to start the year let’s have a look at 2010 for all the signs.
% Some percents had a really bad year in 2009. Many shrunk to an absolute ghost of their former selves, with zero love coming their way and no interest to speak of at all. Percents will be pleased to know that at last things are looking up. This year many of you who bottomed out last year will find new jobs as bookends or holes. Look into holes on luggage labels, eyelets on sporting clothing and even, for some of you with a yen to travel, coinage with a hole in the middle.
* Asterisks had it easy last year. Many indeed found work opportunities abundant, supplying celeb dialogue for numerous publications. Things look set to stay the same this year, with the prospect of printable celebrity eloquence remaining as remote as ever, asterisks are likely to have all the work they can handle. If you’re an asterisk it might be time to think about investing in a property overseas, just to get a little ‘me’ time, take your lobes off, kick back and chill out. These are the good times, oh yeah. Or, as a millionaire celeb would have it ‘It’s ********* wunnerful, innit?’
@ Ats were in form from the off last year. 2010 is going to be vastly different. Some have expanded over the winter to include Blackberries, Ipods a huge array of fones and other venues in their social scene and are now spread so thinly many are working on all five continents at once. This had got to stop @ once. Just decide what you are good @ and concentrate on th@. No one sign can be everywhere @ once, though I take my h@ off to those of you who tried. Why not settle @ home and work from there? Emulate the c@ th@ s@ on the m@ and calm down.
# Most common sign for politicians, the Hash. Needless to say last year was a bumper year for Hashes of all kinds. First there was the Hash up over the elections, then the Hash up over the disclosures to the newspapers. Scarcely had that subsided then there was the leak to the press about those models – what a total Hash that turned out to be. I don’t need to remind anyone how very high profile Hashes were at the climate summit. Yes Hash is the busiest of all the signs in public life and this year looks set to be worse if anything. The only time Hashes are not in evidence is during the long summer holidays, when, inexplicably, countries run just beautifully, even though all the politicians are away from their desks. Unbelievable, really.
€ Euros had one of those up and down years in 2009. 2010 is not going to be much different. Try to get to grips with the finances Euros, balance the books and then distract yourself with a hobby. How about taking up Esperanto?
? The natural curiosity of the average Question mark should be curbed this year. It can destroy relationships as easily as anything, as all Questions know to their cost. ‘Where have you been?’ ‘What time do you call this?’ ‘Are you going out wearing that?’ ‘So who died and made you king?’ Such happy little queries spring unbidden to the lips of the average Question. Give it a rest, Questions and have a peaceful year.
+ Time was, when there seemed to be more Pluses than of late. Thin on the ground, possibly due to the recession, and noted for their absence, 2010 is the year for Pluses to finally come back into their own. Pluses should be more evident in all the little things this year, such as, creating less landfill, making something instead of buying it, enjoying the free stuff like a nice gently sunny day and smiling at all the other signs and people in general.
& Ampersands are on the up. Yes this is your year to shine, Amps. Look for new employment in lists if you crave a change, get out & about. Try to get stronger & fitter this year, you might want to diet & slim down a bit come the summer because the Amps are the most enthusiastic eaters of all the signs & never stop until the full menu has been thoroughly explored. Less is more Amps, though not this year on the financial front. You will look back on 2010 as the year you made it & made it & made it. Good for you.
£ You can do it if you try, Pound. I think so, the Chancellor thinks so, the Prime Minister is betting his job on it ( ha,ha,ha,ha, oh sorry, can’t stop laughing, ha, ha, ha) and the whole country is depending on you. Come on Pound, give it some welly.
} What’s eating you, curlies? Got disincluded? Curlies are noted for their social skills, groups are so their thing. In fact the only thing that really makes a cheerful Curly unhappy is a party that nobody told them about. Party on this year Curly, for you the good times are here again, pop the champagne, break out the nibbles and dance till dawn!
= The most balanced of all the signs, Equals are most likely to have spent their childhoods declaring that’ it isn’t fair’ and then trying to make it fair. Many equals end up either as tax inspectors or social workers. The year ahead for them will be like any other, and if it isn’t they will make it so. I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this really, if you ever look at those ‘future’ books in a shop, the ones that are left in December are always Equal to the ones that didn’t sell.
– Dashes will speed through the year in a flash. They get up earlier than anyone else, go to bed later and in between just dash around. This year their get up and go will serve them well and many will get new jobs in in-line skate manufacture, on-line broad band sales, speed catering and designer zip designers.
8) I predict that everyone will have – smiley faces throughout the year. Get your smile here @ JaneLaverick.com and spread it around as many people in a day as you can. Keep doing that all year and regardless of what * * * * happens it will = a good year for you because of all the people smiling back at you & if you do 2010 could be 100% better than last year, which would be a huge +.