I wish that woman from over the road would stop hanging her washing where I can see it, I find it most offensive.
I wish that dreadful girl in the post office would go away. Last week she kept me waiting five minutes while she did something with that typewriter and that screen she has there behind the grill. Why doesn’t she just do her job?
I wish the chemist’s wouldn’t treat me like some sick geriatric. I wish they had a different system with prescriptions. I wish they delivered to the house. I wish they wouldn’t treat me like a fool. I wish they issued six months of pills at a time. I wish I didn’t have to go in there. I wish there was a different chemist’s shop nearby. I wish there was a chemist’s shop at the end of the road but not that one.
I wish the leaves didn’t all blow into my porch. They’re not my leaves, why do I have to tidy them up? I wish they didn’t fall off the trees in autumn, it would be so much easier.
I wish I had easier feet.
I wish bought pizzas had the cheese going right up to the edge. Why do they leave a border of boring base round the edges? I know why they do it. It’s to make more profit. I wish pizzas were more easily digestible. I wish they had more topping and less base. I wish they didn’t cost so much. Why don’t they make smaller ones for old people? I can’t eat all of that. Unless of course it’s those supermarket ones, I like. They are far too small for the money.
I wish this rug wouldn’t keep walking across the hall carpet. Look at it! It’s practically in the kitchen!
I wish that cat would get off the table. Get off you evil animal! I will give you such a swipe.
I wish these slippers would last a bit longer. Can you darn them again? I’ve gone through the toes. I wish they made them stronger. But soft for my feet. And flexible. I wish they made smart, outdoor slippers.
I wish you would eat more fruit. I have felt this apple every day for the last week and it is now soft. You must eat it. I wish you would.
I wish this oven wouldn’t get dirty but a layer of seasoning on an oven dish does add flavour, which is handy these days because cuts of meat are not what they used to be. The stuff I had last night was like horse. Old horse.
I wish I could turn this radiator off, it’s like a furnace. Oh right, you do that so easily. I wish my hands were stronger.
I wish you hadn’t turned that radiator off, the room is freezing and I’m old. You shouldn’t leave mature people in the cold, it’s bad for them.
Who turned that radiator back up? I wish I knew. I’m absolutely sweltering.
I wish I could get my feet warm.
I don’t want anything for Christmas. Just nice things that I like. I wish I knew what that might be.
I wish I was younger, I would run rings round you.
I wish the cleaning girl wouldn’t move the valuable ornaments on her own. She will break them and I will have to sack her. She has been told. Frequently. Why doesn’t she dust under the vases? Look at this ring of dust. I must speak to her. She should lift the vases up and dust underneath. Not the nearly Ming vase. It is worth money. I’ll do that one.
I wish this vase wasn’t so heavy.
Well!
I wish these pieces of vase weren’t so sharp. I could cut myself. This is very dangerous. I wish this stuff wouldn’t break so dangerously.
I wish the cleaning girl had done the lifting. She is young and strong enough. I will speak to her. I wish she would just do what I want and not take it upon herself to do things without instruction.
I wish that cleaning girl would just do what I say. She costs enough.
I wish you wouldn’t drive home in the dark. I hope you’re not rushing off, it’s only afternoon. I wish you would stay for an evening meal. Do you eat pizza? I have half one that I don’t like, you could eat that.
I wish that cat wouldn’t get on the desk while I am phoning you, get off the desk you evil animal! I will hit you! Stoppit! Stop it! Get off the desk. I wish you would get off the desk. Oh. Well now he’s run away, I wish he wouldn’t do that.
I wish I had a cheaper wreath for hanging outside. My neighbours will get the main benefit of this, looking at it and they haven’t had to pay for it.
I wish someone else would put all the decorations up but they would probably put them in the wrong places.
I wish Christmas didn’t come round so quickly.
I wish to give someone this wonderful packet of sixteen paper finger napkins. There are a whole sixteen. That’s a very generous present. I wonder who would like that?
I have a pair of old tights that are too short for me. I’ve only worn them twice. I wish I knew someone I could give them to. Would you like them? You have short fat legs.
I wish I had written all my cards months ago. I wish I didn’t have so many friends, though, actually, many of them are dying now, which means fewer cards.
I wish someone else would cook the turkey, though they would probably do it wrong.
I wish Christmas didn’t happen at such a busy time of year.
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JaneLaverick.com – if wishes were horses I could ride into the sunset.